Dulled senses...

All of my senses have been dulled. Food that once was delicious is now bland. Colorful landscapes are now cloudy and grey. Everywhere I look I see something that reminds me of better times. The tin motorcycle painting taunts me from across the room. Her green bag hanging on the door oddly reminds me of her gentle pleasing smell before she would lay down beside me. Her soft lips today tease my mind, had I known that those  kisses in the car would be my last, I would have made them last longer. I gazed at her this morning laying in my bed, it was such an angelic scene. My precious monster would never lay in my bed again. That thought is tormenting me. I need a break, a break from reality. A vacation to my own personal paradise. A place where I had not made mistakes, a place where our hearts could run free together like they did once before. A place where I could hold her for all eternity and keep her safe from my reckless actions in the real world. If such a place exists, please I beg someone to take me there.